


But There's Three

by athletiger



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz, James Bond (Movies), Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 04:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4208505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/pseuds/athletiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where there's two spies, there may be no survivors. Where there's three, well...</p><p>or...</p><p>In which Eggsy finds himself in company with Alex Rider and James Bond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But There's Three

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Erisah_Mae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erisah_Mae/gifts).
  * Inspired by [There May Be No Survivors](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184034) by [Erisah_Mae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erisah_Mae/pseuds/Erisah_Mae). 



> Dear reader:  
> My name is Athletiger, but you may call me Ath. This is my first time writing in this fandom. Quick things about my story:  
> 1\. I have no idea what I was doing while writing this story.  
> 2\. I wrote this to the best of my abilities, and it is not beta-ed or brit-picked.  
> Yea. Hope you enjoyed reading this. Cheers.

Eggsy spotted Alex standing alone in front of the fountain as the sky turned a dusky color.

“Lookin’ good there, bruv,” Eggsy commented, giving his spy friend an appraising look as he stood next to him.

Alex smiled, puffing out his chest in confidence. “Thanks for the suit. It saved my life last mission; Some psychopaths aimed for my heart, those idiots.”

The two stood on the sidewalk, watching the large fountain spew water in sync to the music.

“Let’s catch up over a game of poker,”  Alex said out of the blue, drawing himself away from the massive lake as the melody finished.

Eggsy complied, although he couldn’t help but comment, “Ain’cha bit young to gamble?”

Alex shrugged. “With my height and stature, no one knows better. Come on, I saved us a spot at the table; Smithers told me you would be joining me today.”

Eggsy and Alex waded through the bustling people, breathing in the acrid stench of cigarettes as they navigated towards the poker tables. Eggsy smiled as he glanced with pride at Alex, his impromptu little spy brother. Even though he was fucking upset that Blunt sent him out on missions that shouldn’t be done by a schoolboy, he was glad that Smithers and Merlin had the compassion to at least allow another spy to keep watch (it was definitely not babysitting; Alex did not need a babysitter) so the boy did not die a premature death. More often than not, Eggsy saw him while he did his own missions...well, okay, most of the time, their missions ended up being more or less the same. However, that is not to say Alex couldn’t do his job; in fact, Eggsy was often impressed at the agility that Alex exerted.

“How good is your luck, bruv?” Eggsy spoke above the din of the crowd.

“Damn good.” Alex smirked. “Afraid that I will steal your money?”

“Nah, bruv, I’m more worried abou'cha losin' all your money...to me.”

Eggsy laughed as he dodged a half-hearted punch.

They finally sat at a large poker table, with a decent amount of posh men and women collecting and losing money. Like spies they were, they simultaneously scanned their surroundings, taking note of their observers and…

“Shit,” Eggsy heard Merlin say in his ear. It was the first contact Eggsy had with him all day. “Spies and Vegas. It’s always spies and Vegas. Three o’ clock is your target.”

Eggsy was sorely tempted to ask what Merlin was going on about, but that would be suspicious, so Eggsy kept quiet. Giving a sidelong glance at the direction Merlin instructed, he saw a drop-dead gorgeous female sitting near the table, watching the current game. After a moment, as if sensing that he watching her, she looked right back at him. Eggsy suggestively winked at her, and she smiled.

“So, what brings you here?” Alex murmured, leaning into Eggsy’s ear. Eggsy placed his chips in front of him before answering. With his peripheral vision, he saw the target making her way towards him.

“Arthur sent me here to foil a human trafficking scheme. The ringleader is a female, and since I’m best at seducing my targets at Kingsman, here I am. How about you? ”

Alex looked at his cards briefly. “Draw.” The dealer passed him another card. “I’m here to stop a massive bombing at Area 51. Intel has it that the control center is there with wireless connections that links the rest of the bombs around the U.S.”

“Shit.”

Alex agreed. “Dangerous, I know. I’m entering the base tomorrow; I decided that I could use a break for tonight.”

Eggsy looked up to see the woman standing behind him as revealed his cards. Straight flush. “Well, I wish you luck,” he told Alex before directing his attention behind him. "Well, hello darling. May I be graced with your name?"

She smiled back at him. “I’m Francesca Angelini.”

Eggsy smiled widely. “And I’m William Adams. Nice to meet you. Would you like to have dinner?” With a flirtatious wink, he kept one eye on the game as he talked to her.

Francesca leaned down next to his ear. “I would like that, William. Room 805 at eight. Don’t be late.”

When Eggsy blinked again, she was gone.

“I think you’re going to need that luck. We’re tied.” Alex revealed his own cards. Straight flush as well, leaving Eggsy gaping.

"I must admit, I believe I have you both beat," a smooth voice interjected. Eggsy and Alex snapped their heads at the voice, seeing an infuriating smile on a handsome man, well-dressed (bespoke, Eggsy's mind supplied as he observed closer) as he suspensefully turned his cards over. Royal flush.

"Shit, bruv!" Eggsy exclaimed in disbelief. "Who’re you?"

Eggsy heard Merlin sigh resignedly in his ear when he asked that question.

"Name's Bond. James Bond."

Eggsy and Alex was flabbergasted, jaws dropping to the floor. However, before they could get a word in  edgewise, screams of panic resounded through the air. The players at their table rushed to flee the scene, and Eggsy suspected that they were, in some way, involved in some illegal activity. But, Eggsy stood his ground and raised an eyebrow at  Alex. _Shall we flee?_

He replied, _After you._

As armed men swarmed the casino floor, Eggsy brought out his cigarette lighter.

“Hmm...hand grenade,” the man named James said, walking towards Eggsy. Eggsy smirked and shook his head.

"Nah bruv, it's a smoke bomb. Prototype." Eggsy pressed the button before flinging it into the mass. "But seriously, are you fuckin' with me? James Bond, the legend?"

James smiled charmingly. "The same. Although, the movies may have under exaggerated my missions a bit."

As they weaved their way towards the edge of the casino, smoke bomb obscuring their vision and Merlin guiding Eggsy out of the building with James and Alex following, James casually inquired, "How's Harry? Is he still using that black Jewish boyfriend excuse when girls hit on him?"

"Fuck off," he heard Harry say in his ear.  When he heard that, Eggsy let out a harsh breath of laughter. He turned to a smirking James. "He’s Arthur now,  an’ he just dissed ya, bruv."

"To be expected."

"But nah. He don't use tha' excuse no more. He’s got me."

“And you are Galahad.”

“That’s righ’.”

Suddenly though, Eggsy had a thought. 'How do you even know about Kingsman? 'Operating at the highest level of discretion' my ass."

"007 is just nosy," Merlin replied. “and unconventional. He’s got eyes pretty much everywhere.”

“And you are who?” James asked Alex.

“Alex Rider, MI6.”

James was astounded. “You’re ‘6? I’ve never seen...ah, you’re one of Blunt’s aren’t you? A bit unconventional, that bastard.”

“Why are those men there?” Eggsy asked. They burst into the open night sky with the wailing sounds of sirens coming ever closer.

James, ever the unflappable one, tilted his head. “My foot was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing to worry about.”

"Well, I have a long day tomorrow, so I best be going," Alex remarked. "Wanna grab a pint after we finish our missions?"

"I never turn down a drink," James said in his lilting British accent.

"That's great, bruv!' Eggsy clapped the two spies on the back. " See ya in a few."

" _Don't you dare burn Vegas down,_ " Merlin threatened. Eggsy simply chuckled as he walked casually strolled on the strip before turning off his communications. He had a woman to seduce.

* * *

 

“We need to stop meet meeting like this,” Alex muttered as he crouched with Eggsy behind a staircase. Just below, masses of men and women in lab coats swarmed the area, giving the final touches on the weapon of mass destruction. From what he could see, under almost every lab coat was the distinct outline of a pistol.

“It’s our job, innit?” Eggsy said. “I would take a task like this ovva recon any day.”

“Why are you even here? Weren’t you supposed to stop a human trafficking ring?”

“It turned ou’ that  the kidnapped humans was transformed into brainwashed slaves with superhuman strength and endless knowledge.”

Eggsy looked over the edge. “It’s ‘em down ‘ere.”

A few more moments of silent observing passed between the two before Eggsy spoke up again. “So, spy boy, what’s the plan?”

Alex punched Eggsy lightly in the arm.  “Stop the production, obviously.”

“That’s a shit ton of powder there,” Eggsy commented as he watched the mass of glaringly white powder roll on the conveyor belt.

Alex agreed. “It’s enough to blow the world sky high. And I haven’t even stopped the ones that are already wired to explode the U.S.” Alex checked his watch. “I should probably go and find the control room. U.S. is set to explode in twenty minutes.”

Merlin piped up in Eggsy’s ear. “Tell Alex that the control room is not too far from here. Seven o’ clock, there’s a door, take fourth left, first right, second right, third left, and the seventh door to the left is the control room.”

Eggsy related the information to Alex.

“So, how are we going to deal with this shit?”

“Bury it.”

Eggsy raised his eyebrow. “Not so easily done bruv.”

Suddenly, at the corner of Eggsy’s peripheral vision, a commotion occurred. Alex and Eggsy turned their heads towards the sound of shouting.

“Well, you better go stop the country from explodin’ while they’re still distracted,” Eggsy said as he watched James fuckin’ Bond fight singlehandedly amongst the scientists.

“On it,” Alex said, crawling towards the door aforementioned.

Eggsy himself leapt from the staircase onto a scientist, bringing out his umbrella to ward off any stray bullets.

“Hello again, Galahad,” James said as he passed by Eggsy, shooting an enemy in the head.

“James.”

“I don’t suppose you could use the lighter in here.”

Eggsy shook his head, simultaneously shooting two other scientists in the head and bringing around the umbrella to stun another. “That’s dynamite powder over there. Can’t risk it.”

“Ah. Well, there’s a lake nearby, and the weather outside looks rainy.”

Eggsy smiled, leaping over two other scientists before wrestling a gun from another. “You’re the guvna! Let’s wreck shit on ‘em.”

James was locked in hand-to-hand combat on an especially strong female. With a well-aimed punch to the temple and a strong pinch to the neck, she dropped like stone.

“Thank you,” James said. “We should probably clean this out before security gets here.”

Even before they took a step, the loud security alarm resonated throughout the building.

“A bit late to do tha’, innit?” Eggsy said as he followed James towards the staircase that he had once previously occupied.

“Well, our other option is to wreck this building.” Eggsy could see the wicked glint in James’s eyes.

They met up with Alex as they passed the door that he originally entered in.

Alex panted, “Well, I destroyed the control room, so the bombs can’t explode now. But what are we going to do with this place?”

Alex saw the sparkle in James’s eyes that Eggsy saw. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

James drove recklessly back to the Strip as the rain poured in sleets. Eggsy sat next to James in the passenger seat. Behind them was the not-so-large-carnage that happened.

“I may have accidentally exaggerated the amount of dynamite in that building,” Alex casually commented as he looked out the rear window.

“No shit, bruv. It didn’t even cause a damn earthquake. Not cool; I wanted to walk away to a damn dramatic explosion.”

“Not that type of movie, Galahad.”

“Sorry for the lack of dramatics.” Alex didn’t sound sorry at all.

“So, shall we get that pint?”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to give me constructive criticism and/or comments on how much you hate/love this story.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Ath~
> 
> P.S. Erisah_Mae, I hope you liked it! :)


End file.
